How can I tell you I love you
in a way you’ve never heard it before?

How can I tell you what you mean to me without
sounding like every other asshole who’s
ever been in love?

I don’t know that I can.

I do know that once when
I was down and out and needed
a drink a toothless old lady
who had just cashed her SSI check
bought me a beer and
handed me a ten
out of the blue
no strings attached
She hands me a ten and says,
"Kid, you look like you could use it."

That’s how I feel when I watch you
put lotion on your face or
do your nails or
brush your teeth with my toothbrush

Once, when I was in Vegas
drunk on free booze
I put my last 300 bucks on the table and
even though I stayed on 15
the dealer broke

That’s how I feel when I wake up
in the morning and you’re still there

Once, I was sitting in a stolen car
rolling a joint
and a beat cop taps on the window
and tells me to move on

That’s how lucky I feel that
you’d have anything to do with me

You’re like pizza being served at
a soup kitchen and there’s no one in line

You're like finding half a joint in the inside pocket
of your leather when you’ve been dry for three days

You’re like Bloody Marys and an omelet topped with caviar
at Alice’s Restaurant in Malibu

You're like finding a cold one stashed
in the crisper when the liquor stores don’t open for another hour

You're like the shoelace that doesn’t break when
you’re rushing out the door for a job interview

You're like a mug shot with a smile

You're like crushing that fly that’s been buzzing around you're ear
while you’re sleeping off a bad hangover

You're like pulling out of the drive-thru at Taco Bell
and finding that they did include your extra salt and hot sauce

You're like driving through the Bible Belt
and finding a rock station on the radio

You're like taking a long-awaited piss outdoors

You’re like that fifth hard-on in four hours

OK, you’re like that third hard-on in six hours

You’re like doing high school all over again,
getting straight A’s and going to Harvard

You’re like owning a bar

You’re like driving cross-country on four bald tires
without a spare and not getting a flat

You're like making bail

You’re all that and more, (insert name here), and

like the desert loves the rain
like red wine loves the stain
like a derailed train

I need your love